Is Stepping Back from Military Life the Wellness Habit You Need?
Military life can be all-consuming for everyone in the family, not just the service member. The long work hours, training periods, and deployments turn the non-military parent into the default parent. The frequent moves disrupt the non-military member’s career. If children are part of the military family, the frequent moves mean school changes and restarting activities at new locations. With the constant changes, it is natural to dive into that life — donating time and energy to the military unit, adding another layer of dedication. While there are benefits to military life, the constant of military life can be disruptive. If all aspects of life feel dedicated to it, when the military continues to challenge, it might be time to put up a boundary.
The military branches are like any other work environment — there are good and bad apples, and the military branch is like a corporation — the higher-ups make decisions that the staff members do not understand. The needs of the military branch always supersede personal needs or desires, and if the constant take, take, take continues, the demands lead to burnout; stepping back from military life may be the wellness habit you need.
The service member should evaluate the desire for continued military service with each benchmark — whether it is each enlistment period or upcoming promotion. The benefits of a military career include continued healthcare coverage, albeit TRICARE Retiree changes in benefit amount through the years, and retirement pay; no benefits outweigh an individual’s overall well-being.
The non-military member should evaluate their involvement and dedication to military life when the demands negatively impact physical, mental, or emotional health. Volunteers at the military unit are a staple for family programming, but one person cannot do it all. While there were paid employees of Family Readiness Officers during wartime, those roles have been downsized and removed, shifting the programming at most unit levels to family members as volunteers. However, many military family members are working without childcare and with the increasing financial demands, meaning fewer volunteers. Those who are volunteering are doing more with less, and that can take a toll. Especially when the military as an organization, and sometimes the actual unit, does not give back.
Communication among partners is vital when determining the path forward. Communicate long-term goals and desires. Less than 1% of Americans know and understand military life is a nuanced lifestyle. If the lifestyle is no longer meeting personal goals and is causing mental and physical distress, it may be time for the military member to seek retirement or separation. Suppose the non-military family member finds that volunteering and continual giving to the military unit is too much. In that case, it is necessary to communicate the need to step back from that role. The constant moving can impact the military family’s medical care and needs, school desires, and activity progression, and it may be necessary for military families to discuss the potential for geographic bachelor orders if the family’s impact is too significant. Openly discussing this together as partners in military life is crucial. Military life is transient, but the family unit is not. Make the best decision for your family and your family’s needs — and this can include taking the time to take a step back from military life to improve your wellness.
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