PCS’ing with the Millers: What Happened When My Spouse Arrived First
He beat me to Japan, and this is what happened
This story is one in a series that follows the progression of my latest PCS. In an effort to show the complexity, frustrations and joys of PCS’ing, I’m baring all in this series to help other military spouses (even if it’s just one!) take on their next PCS with confidence. This is the thirty-sixth installment of an ongoing saga — to get caught up, click here.
One of the best things to happen to me during this PCS was my husband arriving in Japan first. Sure, it’s been crappy living without him for a few weeks and the prospect of getting Josie to Japan on my own is daunting. And yet, from the moment my husband’s feet hit the ground in the land of the rising sun, he’s been kicking butt and rocking our PCS better than I could’ve dreamed.
№1 — Cell Phone Plans
When my husband and I discussed our move to Japan, three things were top priority for his first few days in Japan: house, cars, cell phone plan.
We were repeatedly told from those who have PCS’ed OCONUS before that the communities overseas are much tighter-knit. And when these reassurances met contact, they held up. Most of my husband’s unit showed up at the airport to welcome him to Yokota AB (so sweet ❤️).
From there, our sponsor took my husband to the Exchange where he began the process of getting us a Japanese cell phone plan. Apparently he arrived during a special promotion, because out of the deal we received a free iPad 5. Exciting!
№2 — House
I reiterated to my husband before he left (read: probably nagged him) that he needed to get his name down on the housing list as soon as possible when he arrived. I didn’t want to live in a hotel for the next few months and it’s important to me that we ease Josie’s transition as much as possible by bringing her to only one new living space.
The first day, after acquiring cell phone plans, my husband hit the housing office to get his name down. Because it’s high season, and he was arriving toward the end of it, there were no two-bedroom options available. 😟
As my husband told me on the phone later that day,
“The sweet Japanese woman behind the counter told me there were no more two-bedroom homes available at this time. I looked at her and told her I was really hoping to be in a house before my wife arrived and that a one-bedroom home wouldn’t work since she works from home. The woman told me to wait a moment and she went to talk to someone in another cubicle. She returned a few moments later and said, ‘We have two three-bedroom options for you to choose from, either an apartment or a garden unit. Which one would you prefer?’”
I couldn’t believe our luck. We were repeatedly told we would be stuck in a two-bedroom home, and this caused some grief on my end, because my office space was now going to be a office/guest bedroom. Not ideal.
But we lowered our expectations, accepting this likelihood as part of our reality of living overseas, and then had our expectations exceeded when it turned out a three-bedroom (in the style we wanted — a garden unit) was available. My husband took a few photos of each property, sent them my way, got on the phone, confirmed we were on the same page, and then signed for the garden unit. He moves into it with loaner furniture next week.
№3 — Cars
The generosity of a sponsor helping you adjust to life on base shouldn’t be taken for granted. So once my husband finished his driving course (a seminar followed by a test) he and our sponsor went out on the town to look for cars. At Yokota AFB there are two main places you look for cars: on base at the lemon lot or at several nearby car dealerships that regularly work with Americans.
In the middle of the afternoon I started receiving photos from my husband of different cars we could buy. I wasn’t impressed with the first lot he sent. Then, as he was on the phone describing the cars he already looked at, he passed a lot with a crossover vehicle in deep purple. Much like I looked into the University of St. Thomas (my college) because they sent me a purple postcard, I told him to look into that car because of its color.
It turned out to be a real stunner — complete with a sun roof, three rows of seating, a navi and backup camera. Our sponsor was jealous this guy was available and told my husband that if it were available when he and his wife arrived, they would’ve jumped on it. So we did.
Then, on the same lot, my husband found us a smaller car with 4WD that would be perfect for the two of us (and me) to get around town and run errands. Oh, and drive us to the mountains for ski adventures.
It’s a Subaru something-or-other and the perfect second car for us. It’s a hatchback with backup sensors and very clean interior and Bluetooth so I can listen to my jams.
Both cars met my requirements of having A/C and power windows. Neither has heated seats (but if I’m honest, I was starting to get greedy there). We got both cars for $6,700, $200 more than we wanted to spend, but well within our budget for cars.
He bought them on the spot and began the process of filling out the paperwork and getting them scheduled for inspection (a requirement before my husband could take them home — a responsibility the dealership bears).
№4 — Rail Passes
This item wasn’t even on the list and yet my husband took care of this task as well. Since our sponsor is the person my husband is replacing at his unit, our sponsor gave us their refillable rail passes. He even took my husband on a little field trip to the next town over using the rail passes so he could get a feel for how the process works.
My husband even went as far as to tell me about the app where you can check the train schedules and lines (that apparently change as often as the staircases at Hogwarts) and even refill your passes. What a guy!
№5 — Yoga Hookup
Knowing that I’m a yoga teacher and keen to get back into the swing of teaching, my husband managed to score me a gig on base that is exactly what I want to be doing.
During a meet and greet lunch with his new boss, I came up in conversation. I’m guessing the boss asked my husband what I do, to which my husband shared the variety of things I’m involved in, to include teaching yoga. This excited the new boss, who asked if he could have me come in for Friday morning PT to teach.
A wide grin spread across my face when my husband shared this news with me and I fist pumped the air in excitement over the prospect of being able to teach yoga to active duty members. I also fell in love all over again with my wonderful husband who proved, yet again, that he always has my back. Even though it will be a volunteering gig, I’m so excited to share yoga with my husband’s new workmates.
The idea of my husband arriving in Japan before me was a bit of a downer at first. I really wanted to do this entire thing together, and I felt a little guilty about not being there to support him during the biggest transition of our PCS.
And yet….my husband going over to Japan solo has given him the time to take care of all the important details of moving to a new place without having to worry about my well-being or me getting in the way. He’s been fast, efficient and proud, I think, to get everything set up so I don’t have to worry about it when I arrive. I get to show up in Japan, with Josie in tow, and begin the next phase of our lives with several major hurdles already out of the way.
Moving forward, I think this is the only way I’m going to PCS!
MILLIE is an online community and digital marketplace that connects members of the military and their families with specialized knowledge and trusted resource providers to remove the stress and anxiety of PCS’ing. Check out MILLIE’s Installation and Neighborhood Guides, our network of Veteran and military spouse Realtors, and Scout, our on-demand task service composed of military spouses.
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